Life, other:
Still alive, poor, constantly tired, which is quite fortuitous really, because if I was poor but brimming with vitality I would want to go out, but not be able to, and that would make me sad. Yesterday I went to Gleebooks to try to find something to spend my Christmas gift voucher on. They have a very nice music section, and, of course, I couldn't decide which one to get and left the store empty-handed. A book of correspondence between Adorno and Berg looks to be the most likely contender, but takes up the whole voucher and then some. I don't know whether to buy something rather expensive and decadent, or lots of smaller things. I'm leaning towards the former.
Then I went to the zine fair and saw Vanessa and Helen and Leigh, and sat on a couch for a little while circling things in the Lush catalogue with Helen, and ate much junk food, including but not limited to paddle pops and crisps. After a quick puri stop I headed home, on the way browsing quickly in a shop named 'Gizz Spot' (yikes-how unfortunate)**, and watched my ebay auctions sputter to an anticlimactic end. At least some money was made.

Boring viola stuff:
Currently working on: Ralph Vaughan Williams, Suite for Viola and Orchestra, Group 1.Mainly the Prelude.
I seem to have reached an unfortunate plateau with playing, where my actual sound falls short of the grand visions in my head of what each phrase should sound like. I have always had such a crystal clear image in my mind of exactly how each note should sound, which is a good thing, but is very frustrating when I can't for the life of my make those sounds in real life. It's at this point where I usually throw a tanty and quit, but I am determined not to do this again. So I have been trying to take the emphasis away from interpretation and expression in my practising, for now, focusing on intonation, scales, arpeggios, string changing, finger strength. My intonation is not brilliant, and it's frustratingly erratic; even after going over the same passages over and over again, I still can't get it spot on, especially 4th finger on D string in first position. My 4th fingers are like weak little bendy straws, though, so this could be why. And as for the vibrato, well, it's puzzling. When playing a slow scale in first position, it's surprisingly good; still a bit jagged, but loose and relaxed and from the arm. But whenever I try to use vibrato in a piece, it becomes tight, barely audible, strained. And in the upper positions, I don't know whether to drive it from the arm or from the wrist. I just don't know. I'm impatient. And the piece I am currently playing is so darned nice, I hate not being to play it as well as it should be played.