Helen and I promised each other that we would update our blogs, and I haven't been and she has been posting like a maniac, so I better start upholding my end of the bargain. So here goes.

On Friday I auditioned for the Sydney Uni Symphony Orchestra. In approximately 15 years of playing the viola, this was only my second public solo 'performance' . The first was my HSC performance exam, but that was about 8 or so years ago. I played a piece by Stephen Leek called 'Goombungee', as I had to play a contemporary Australian work. Goombungee was actually quite fun to play, as it had Australian bush sound effects involving tapping on the body of the viola and a few others that I can't remember now, as does much Australian music for strings. Anyhow, apart from playing for my teacher each fortnight, that was my last public appearance on the ol' viola.

So I booked an audition time for 2pm. My boss at work kindly let me take a 2 hour lunch break, as I had to work all day on Friday. I caught the bus to Sydney Uni, which took about 40 minutes, during which time I grew progressively more nervous. The day before, we had a lady speaker at work who told us that we could convert fear to excitement easily, as they both have the same physical effects. So I spent part of the bus trip muttering 'I'm so excited! I'm so excited!' in an attempt to turn my fear into excitement. **

I hopped off and hot-footed it to the Old Darlington School, which is a strange, very old building that looks like a church, nestled in between Wentworth and Seymour Centre. I hate walking fast with my viola, because it bumps around inside the case and I feel like a bad mother. I just can't work out what's loose in there. Anyhow. I filled out the audition form and went to the warm up room, which is the most churchy part of Old Darlington School. The words 'warm up room' make me think of Fame, and I picture dancers in legwarmers and leotards doing the splits and chewing gum. Not in this warm up room. There was a very nervous first year in there who was called in to audition just as I walked in. I smiled at her and told her that she sounded very good. She was about 50 light years ahead of me in technical ability and had nothing to worry about, but I didn't say this.

So I started my warmup, and was actually sounding pretty good. The acoustics in the Old Darlington School are really nice, and my viola sounded lovely, all nasal and rich and deep, just like a viola should sound. Another boy came in while I was warming up and I chatted to him a bit. When I am nervous, I become very chatty and outgoing, but I have no control of what comes out of my mouth. It's hit and miss. I can either make friends in an instant, or terrify people. I think this boy may have been a little scared. Anyhow, he went in and auditioned, and my heart sank even further into my shoes as he was even more advanced than the other girl.

So it was then my turn. I was terrified. My fear had not turned to excitement as hoped. I had been told that the auditions were very 'informal and casual', but there's nothing 'informal and casual' about a panel of three boys sitting behind a long desk and a lone music stand in the middle of the room, which is what I faced. They were nice to me at least, and I gibbered something in response to their questions, and they wrote things down on their notepads. Probably something like 'suffers from verbal diarrhoea'. When I told them I was playing part of the Vaughan Williams 'Suite for Viola and Orchestra', the conductor man's eyes lit up. 'Lovely', he said. He must like Vaughan Williams. So I played my piece, growing progressively more nervous as I played (it's supposed to be the other way around!). It actually didn't go terribly. My bowing arm usually shakes to buggery when I am nervous, but I think I am able to control it a little better now. Afterwards I wanted to apologise for my timid tone and lack of vibrato and lack of expressiveness, and somehow convey to them how I know the piece should be played, but I held my tongue. The sight reading was quite nasty, as they gave me an excerpt with double stopping and a sudden shift to 3rd position.

And then it was over. I rushed back to work, stopping on the way for a quick doughnut man from Donut King. I still don't know if I got into the orchestra or not. I guess it depends on how desperate for viola players they are. At least my outfit was cute, if I do say so myself.

**It didn't really work.